Broken Heart
I was not going to post this because I did not want to bring anyone down but the last few months have been difficult for me and last night I kind of broke down. Some of you may know about my situations from last year with both my parents passing away and my daughter running away from home. It’s just me, my husband and Chihuahua now. I know when my daughter is right now and I’ve had people hurt me in ways I never imagined possible.
We have been going through old photos and scanning them on the computer and it’s hard to not get emotional and to not cry. I know that for me I am surrounded by people who really love and care about me but why is it so difficult to see that the other relationships were toxic? I should not be around people who would try to hurt me. My situation with my family and my daughter is hard to explain and would take more than a blog post to make you understand it all. Maybe a book is in order to explain it all. A jerry Springer show would be good…
I just wish my heart did not hurt so much..I wish I could stop thinking about the “what if” and face the fact that this is my life now and I was not only robbed of saying goodbye to my mother before she passed but I was also robbed of my daughter.all of this at the hands of my sister. The same sister that when she was kicked out of the house I took her in and supported her.the same sister that had 2 babies by my daughters father. The same sister who a month before our mother passes away had lost her children and wanted my help to get them back. The same sister who kept our mothers death a secret from me so that I would not find out until it was almost 6 months to the day of mom passing away.
There is pain and no way that I could ever forgive her for the damage she has done. I can not express how I feel..I mean, how could I? My heart is broken in pieces and I have no way to get any answers. I have spent a year trying to put it all together like a puzzle so I could make sense out of it all and I’m still at a loss…..
How do you really recover from all that has happened? I’m not sure that you can recover…my competition last year helped me get through a few months and to take my mind off things but guess what???? The pain is still there….
You can always share my fam, they’re a big bundle of fun. My dad is right down the st. He could always use a workout buddy too. He was the funnest in the group when we used to do aerobics together, lol. Love ya girl (hugs)
oh big big big big hugs.
xoxo
I just want to give you a big hug! My heart goes out to you. I really admire all you have accomplished personally. You have a hubby who seems to adore you and you are living life inspite of the heartache. We can’t control how other people behave…just ourselves. You are forging ahead my friend and that is very brave. {{{Hugs}}}
You have always been brave and strong. I am so sorry about the pain and loss you have endured at the hands of someone who has acted so terribly and violated family boundaries. You are actually ahead of most people in the healing process as you do acknowledge that you have been hurt. Don’t let the pain consume you. Work to heal yourself so you will overcome and come out on the other side a better, more loving and caring woman. I am glad to be your friend and will be here for you… rooting you on to be the best you can be!
Love you girlfriend!
~Suzanne
I’m so sorry.
*hugs* *hugs*
Something good always follows the bad. YOu can get through this and know there are brighter days coming. Try to process and make peace, however you can. Hopefully you can find something else — like the competition, etc. to help keep you focused on other goals. Sending strength!
Many hugs and prayers for you. My sister ran away when I was younger, it was a very hard situation, and I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Hugs. I wish there was something I could do for you. I can’t imagine having to sort through feelings of betrayal of that magnitude. You’re strong however, and I’m sure you’ll get through this.
I cannot imagine what you are going through. Sending virtual hugs and power to get through this very difficult time.
So much heaviness. So much pain. It’s real for you and I acknowledge that. I know that hugs and well wishes to you are wonderful gestures, but I also want to offer you hope in the fact that the sting of pain will fade overtime. Healing will come IF you let it. But it will take time. Lots of time. This is the truth of the matter. In the meantime, I hope you won’t be hard on yourself and that you’ll try to find moments of happiness in between it all. xo